What we do with every choice we make, every day, every month, every year, is driven by our thoughts.

Emotional financial layers – inspired by Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Are your thoughts helpful & inspiring to you? Do you create plans that excite you?

Or do you say f*** it I’m too tired, too stressed, too busy, too scared to do anything differently?

What you think creates your feelings. You might know this cognitive behavioural process already? If not, read on…

So if what you’re thinking about money, stems from your beliefs about it, it’s likely this comes from what you do with it regularly and that’s because of how you feel.

★ Let’s take an example of not looking frequently at your bank account.

If you feel scared to look at it because of the chaos you might see, you won’t want to look at it at all. Looking at it will make you believe you’re crap with money and so you’ll think you need to have an entire financial overhaul; which is making you feel really stressed, so you do nothing, and then you believe that you’re in financial trouble ….

But the reverse is also true. Thinking gentle thoughts will create gentle feelings…

Do you feel peaceful, secure, hopeful? Perhaps a little cautious? (this is normal!)

The economy will always be uncertain. We can only control our home economics. (this is one of mine)

Do you feel good about your decisions or are you making them willy nilly with little regard to how you really feel? Are you doing things out of habit because you haven’t got time to make different decisions, to think differently, to feel differently?

Do you feel all over the place? Chaotic & disorganised, perhaps being carried along by some unknown force in the shape of kids, work, life and you can’t seem to stop? What you feel drives what you decide to do, or not do.

What you do creates your results.

What are your results every month, every quarter, every year? What are you working towards? What lights you up?

Do you cross your fingers & look one eyed at your banking app? Or do you take action every month to ensure all is as it should be? Your results create your beliefs that you carry into next month, next quarter, next year.

What are your beliefs about money?

I’m good with money / I’m bad with money / money is stressful.

Your beliefs are your compass. They show you where you go. How comfortable you are with risk, uncertainty and the inevitables changes in life?

Do you believe money is purely a vehicle to exchange for goods & services?

How DEEP do your feelings run when it comes to money? This is a topic that can’t be finished in one blog. It’s huge. But you can start to create your personal picture. Start to understand yourself better.

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Let’s take a look at my version of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs:

For me, for years, it was fear that was my root emotion when it came to my finances.

Fear that I wouldn’t have enough. That I would be in danger if I didn’t have enough. My safety would be compromised. I’d lose my home. But I’d always counteract that with the belief that, all the while I could move and talk, I would always earn it even if it meant I would work 100 hours a week.

I’m a grafter. And I like to feel safe. I’m currently in the financial growth stage but I still need to nurture my pension pots, collate them into one for much better returns. And I need a new will and LPA having got married last year and moved from the UK to France.

What about you?

For many people, shame features highly. Guilt and a lack of self worth circle around one another. This topic can go deeeeeeep. This is but one article of many, and we will continue to explore this. Gently and peacefully.

Creating a healthier relationship with money will change your life.

You might always be a bit of a worrier, I am! But holistically, having more positive thoughts will create much better decisions.

There are many nuances around our feelings and these can be rooted in our past, present or a likely future seasonal shift.

Be that a death, a desertion, a divorce. Moving homes, jobs, having kids, redundancies and promotions. Or simply greeting a new decade with fresh eyes and desires.

Financial and emotional resilience can be hard. But, if you could learn how to protect yourself a little bit better, improve your knowledge and have a bit of a plan, you’d have a cushion. A softer landing.

A softer landing with your finances, means you can allow yourself to heal emotionally without the added drama of worrying about money.

Practical financial layers made easy

Let’s take a look at my version of the layers of financial services in a digestible way. Pairing this with the hierarchy of needs image and how you feel will provide you with something tangible especially if you’re really muddled about it all.

🍞 Bread & Butter (or buppy as my mum calls it 😁 ); Budgeting to make the most of your earnings, saving for lovely things, paying the bills, caring for your growing family and keeping your home as your sanctuary.

🍷 Borrowing; Mortgages, loans, overdrafts, credit cards. Handy in moderation, but too much and it’s like watching bambi on ice

🧂 Growing & Investing; Pensions, ISAs, Investments. They add flavour to the dish of life + preserve and grow your money for decades

🛟 Protection for you and your loved ones; Insurances, wills, estate planning, lasting powers of attorney, emergency funds. Safety when you need an SOS

🍒 Optimisation; Tax efficiencies, strategically using your allowances and future planning

Financial advisors, mortgage experts and lawyers take care of all of those things with you. Don’t be afraid, they’re on your side.

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As for me, I’m the Buppy Expert!

★Helping you get comfy planning and managing your money so it makes sense monthly > yearly. You’ll not get stuck in a loop so often. You’ll feel in control. You’ll feel your pressure gauge let out steam.

★We will see what’s going on with your spending & saving habits and try on some new ones for size. Freshen things up a bit.

★Curating a purpose, a direction that you love and feel inspired by. When your seasons shift, your money should be ready & waiting. Or at least, walks in step by your side.

★Crafting a cunning plan AKA a strategy to move you forwards. Calmly, simply and flexibly.

So, what now?

1. Have a think about how you feel. It might have changed recently.
2. Can you see how it is affecting your decisions?
3. What practical elements are missing from your life?
4. Need some help with a dollop or a sprinkle of emotional support?

I thank you for your time reading this blog and look forward to writing the next one!

All the best

Lucy x

ps. If it’s company > employee training you’re after, I can accommodate via my partnership with FinWELL. See more here