Traditional Goal Setting
We’ve all use SMART goals. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time specific.
Do they do it for you? I suspect not if you’re reading this.
When the thought is there, when you do want and need to achieve something but there’s no emotional resonance, guess how much effort you put in?
And guess how much pressure it adds, or even guilt?
Layering on top of a perfectly logical goal with a personal value, is more likely to propel you forward. Don’t ask me about stats I haven’t looked it up. But I know this to be true for the hundreds of my team members with whom I worked on their personal improvement & competency coaching plans. Ahhhh, takes me back to the good old corporate days…
“As Within”
Your compass, your intuition is imperative.
In my last Substack publication and video I explored the value of nurturing your money and your mind. Those new, tiny shoots of hope and learning, doing and thinking are beautiful things. If we are hungry for knowledge and apply what we learn, does our outer world transform?
Maybe you’d like to explore the Hermetic Principle of “As within, so without” further?
Love and hate are two ways of experiencing the same thing, a relationship toward something.
If you hate your relationship with money, feel fear or shame towards it, this matters. Literally, matter is energy.
This is the foundation of alchemy, or the ability to “transmute” your experiences at will. How you create your inner world, as within, is how you experience the world around you, as without.
You can read a little more on this on mind body green where I got some of the quote above and added my own flavour to it.
For now, let’s take a look at three more values that sit beautifully with nurturing.
And for each, I shall use the financial goal of “Getting out of debt by the end of the year” as examples of how to layer in heart lead values to breathe life into your actions.
- Nourishing
- Respecting
- Protecting
🥑 Nourish
Nourish is about looking for and accepting support, gaining strength, taking in what you need to grow, opening your capacity and allowing breathing room. It’s about how you continue to look after yourself and feed your learning mind long after the initial excitement of doing so has worn off.
Through the lens of clearing your debt, now your repayments aren’t about getting rid of it like it’s an albatross around your neck. It’s about feeding your financial wellbeing.
Goal Reframe Example
“I am clearing my debt to free up income that nourishes my choices, lifestyle, and peace of mind.”
Your focus shifts from sacrifice → gain
Your brain associates repayment with expansion
Your future becomes attractive, not abstract
👑 Respect
Respect framing is incredibly powerful for debt because shame and self-judgment are usually lurking in the background. Boundaries become your superpower.
Not all debt is bad. We don’t always have the luxury of a £10,000 resilience fund so when you need things, you need a way of getting the money. Debt as long as it’s manageable, and as cheap as possible, with a plan to pay it off as quickly as you can, is perfectly alright.
Just remember, the planning element of budgeting & planning. If you’re taking out a loan just now, be mindful of the price rises upcoming in the next 12 months. Rent, mortgage, bills etc so that you don’t overburden yourself. Need help with this? That’s my superpower!
Back to respect. Here, your repayments become an act of self-trust and integrity.
Goal Reframe Example
“I manage and reduce my debt as an act of self-respect and financial leadership.”
A respectful approach removes moral drama
It builds upon your identity of “I am someone who handles things”
It creates dignity instead of guilt. Is this something that will drive you now and in your future decisions?
🛡 Protect
Protect energy speaks to resilience and future security.
Repayment becomes defence rather than deprivation.
Goal Reframe Example
“I am reducing my debt to protect my future income, options, and emotional wellbeing.”
Protection as your value activates safety & control psychology
It feels strong, not apologetic.
It turns your repayments into empowerment.
Don’t these feel so much better?
How likely is it you’ll accomplish what you want, with a values led mindset coupled with a logical end goal?
Becoming the leading lady of your own life might take a bit of work. Inner work. Self belief particularly if you’re feeling less than. And Gumption – yep I’m going all out with The Holiday references today!
If your inner world feels in chaos
So will your outer world and your daily choices reflect this too. Change starts from within. You’re creating your own alchemy.
Whilst I’m happily married now, with a husband who is very similar in financial values to mine, (a deal breaker for me if he wasn’t) I was single for my whole adult life. Aside a few short lived relationships. I’m talking about over 20 years. Getting good with money wasn’t an option. Resilience became my life lesson I had to learn.
When my divorced, similarly overworked friend and I were giggling after a few glasses one evening in her kitchen, we both secretly confessed that we would love for someone to take care of us. We were knackered. Exhausted by work and life. It’s tiring doing everything alone. Lonely. We both slurred that we’d love to have a wealthy man to have that lifestyle. Country homes and gardens not private jets you understand!
Then we both realised, that what we did have, with our teeny tiny country cottages, nipping around spontaneously with a bottle wearing pajamas, was liberation. You can’t put a price on that, especially when you hear the realities of other women’s stories, as their lives weren’t always as they seemed on the outside …
What now?
I’m a good listener. I will understand. Doing this stuff alone, often needs a big old untangle first.
If you want one to one support pop over to the mentoring page. I’ve got one hour Foundation Sessions and a set of 3 sessions you can take over the course of a couple of months called The Fairy Godmother Experience.
If you just enjoyed this perspective and are looking forward to reading more, please pop a little note in the comments 🤍
Feel free to read the library of other articles I’ve written too both longer form on Substack where I go deeper into my musings of money psychology, and here in the Blogs which are a flavour of those in a more succinct way.
My fortnightly emails give you a lovely round up where I aim to have one key monthly topic, broken into two clear themes. The first 2 weeks of the month is one theme and the latter 2 is the other.
Thank you for reading
Lucy x
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